Favorite Funny Stories: A Day At The Lake

Recently, our daughter Kate, her husband Kevin and our middle son Patrick all traveled to Central Oregon for a visit.  During their stay, we did many and various things and had a great time.  Our last day trip was to Lake Billy Chinook last Saturday and here's how that turned out!  As usual, a bit of a day with Lucille Ball and company.

Favorite-Funny-Stories-A-Day-At-The-Lake

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Favorite Funny Stories: Soccer Bloopers

One would think that starting to play sports at age 38 is a bit much.  Especially if that sport happens to be soccer.  All in all though, this experience serves as the back drop for my favorite funny stories and my soccer bloopers.

I never do anything halfway and am probably a type AAAA personality.  When I realized that I truly wanted to learn to play soccer, there was nothing to be done for it except to join a league - which I fondly refer to now as 'old lady soccer'. 

It was a truly wonderful experience, even through all the injuries, all the training, all the botched attempt to be athletic and actually be pathetic!  It taught me much though about the sport, about athleticism in general, and how to not be quite so hard on yourself.  It also taught me a lot in retrospect about being a team.

I grew up being forbidden to play sports - because I was a musician and because I was a girl.  I think that was perhaps some of the draw in wanting to play later in life - that and the fact that all 3 of our children played sports nonstop from a young age through high school and even into college.  I discovered that contrary to my family's knowledge, I loved sports and I had a keen understanding of many of them.  Unfortunately, my body didn't quite follow suit - and hence the perfect beginning for my favorite funny stories and soccer bloopers.

Just remember - you are never to old to try anything!  After I gave up soccer, I moved on to urban mushing!


http://hubpages.com/hub/Favorite-Funny-Stories-Soccer-Bloopers?done

Here's Your Sign - Answers From A Malamute Owner

I am constantly bombarded with the most insane questions when I take my 2 malamutes out and about - this is just a few of the ones that I get asked constantly - and what I wish I could say in return!

A take-off on Blue Collar Comedy - Here's Your Sign....hope you find it amusing.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Heres-Your-Sign-Comebacks-From-A-Malamute-Owner

Sex Drive, Coitus Interruptus and Our Naked Truth

In my late 20's, I discovered the power of being able to have a healthy sex drive - all because of my loving and encouraging husband.  However, on one particular night, this new side of me had some slightly comical and nearly disastrous results. 

As the kids say these days though - 'it's all good' - it turned out to be one of my most memorable voyages into becoming a fully evolved sexy woman.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Sex-Drive-Coitus-Interruptus-And-The-Naked-Truth?done

Bob and Up On the Roof - Senility Hits Home

True to form for me these days, if given a job to do, I have a tendency to leap from one thing to another and somehow am not as easily able to multitask as I was before!  Unfortunately, sometimes it can have comedic consequences as my poor husband found out.

It was a simple task - all I had to do was answer the phone but somehow my blonde old lady brain because distracted by the fact that I suddenly remembered I had to clean the bathrooms for company that was coming. 

Here is my story of how poor Bob unfortunately paid the brunt of my flagging memory!

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City Slicker Meets Camping 101

When my husband and I were first dating, he was mad about camping and since I was mad about him, I decided to try it and see if I could 'grasp' it - with varying results over the years.  However, as in most things, you always remember 'your first' experience and this was a nightmare.  Oh well - I lived through it with humorous stories to tell afterwards.  Also included in my tale is a hilarious video from youtube on camping.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Teaching-a-City-Slicker-to-Camp-Who-Knew

Painting Can Be Dangerous When You Are Not Athletic!

We are back to the problem yet again - my lack of athleticism.  Who knew that painting a stupid house could get me into so much trouble?  Who knew that painting a house would or could require me to know how to be an acrobat?  Whew - I'm very glad I've given it up in my 'older age'. 

I think they should really post warnings on ladders - oh wait - I think that they do.  Maybe they should have a couple more warnings that say for instance 'do not use if you are stupid' or 'do not use if you have no common sense'.  Of course, knowing myself, I would laugh and have a good chuckle over THAT one - as IF they were talking to ME!  You have to be kidding!  I'm the most intelligent person I know - except when it comes to doing something as terrifically simple as painting a house.

I have decided that the problem lies in my personality.  I am too quick to do everything, giving it little or no thought as to the consequences.  I would say I am impulsive but that would be insulting.  I am just a doer rather than a thinker - yeah, I'm sticking with that.  God forbid that I would actually think something through before I attempted it.  I always say though that I am a hands-on person rather than a read-the-manual type but as you can see by this illustration of only ONE of my many screw-ups, I probably should reconsider this approach to life and get a clue.  Too late in the ladder department as after a few mishaps like this one, I decided that ladders should stay far, far away from me - and vice versa.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Should-Painting-Be-An-Olympic-Sport

Maybe I Could Have Made the Special Olympics

Okay, so maybe I wasn't the most agile of athletes nor the most proficient at any sport, but I have to say, what I lacked in coordination and skill, I more than made up for it in drive and perserverance.  Too bad I failed miserably as a child to come up with anything that even resembled athleticism!  I surely wanted to.

As a child brought up by a music teacher who lived and breathed music, literature, music, theater, music (did I mention music?), it was not very easy to excel at sports.  I was not even allowed to play sports as I might 'damage' something like my hands, which were only supposed to be used for playing piano, accordion, or the clarinet.  I have to insert here that I was NOT a willing musician by any means.  I had this longing to do sports and as you can see from my post, it did not go well.  Maybe in retrospect, I should have stuck to my musical endeavors after all (although I was most famous for getting my dress caught in my accordion rather than for my musical abilities).

The moral of my story is never quit - never say you cannot do anything! And even if you can't do it well, do it for comedy!  At least I could excel at that one thing.  If they had had Comedic Olympics or at the least Special Olympics back in the 1960s, who knows - I could have been very famous.

http://hubpages.com/hub/I-Could-Have-Been-a-Gymnist-In-The-Olympics